My Freedom Fighter Team
by J.M. Bowers
Summary: Sonic and Co. enter the rap world with a humorous parody about Sonic the Primadonna in this version of the song "My Band" by D-12 with Eminem! Be careful though, this ain't your momma's Sonic the Hedgehog!


My Freedom Fighter Team

Parody of "My Band" by D-12 featuring Eminem.

A bit of a breakdown for you:

There are a couple different members of the Sonic Team rapping in this parody. I will try to keep them listed so you don't get confused, but basically the following Freedom Fighters will be portraying the respective rappers in the parody:

Sonic the Hedgehog – Eminem

Antoine DeCooliete – Swifty McVay

Rotor Walrus – Kon Artist

Bunnie Rabbot – Kuniva

Miles 'Tails' Prowler – Proof

Knuckles the Echidna – Bizarre

Here we go!

Sonic: Opening

I don't know, dude  
I think everyone's all jealous and shit  
'Cause I'm like the lead member of the team, dude  
And I think everyone's got a fuckin' problem with me, dude  
And they need to take it up with me after the mission…  
Because…

Sonic: Chorus

These chicks don't even know the name of my team  
But they're all on me and they wanting to scream  
Cuz I know that I will be part of their dreams  
All because I'm the lead member of my team…

Sonic: Verse

So I get off stage, right?  
Drop the mic  
Walk up to these hot chicks and I'm all like  
"Sup, babies! My name's Sonic, ladies!  
I'm the lead member of Knothole, baby!"  
And they're all like "Oh my God it's him!  
Becky, oh my fuckin' God is really him!"  
"I swear to fuckin' God, dude you fuckin' rock  
Please won't you please let suck your cock?"  
And by now, the rest of the fellas get jealous  
Especially when I move my feet and drop the Caterkillas  
All the chicks start yelling  
All the hot babes throw their bras and their shirts and their panties at me  
So like every single night they pick a fight with me  
But when we fight it kinda like sibling rivalry  
'Cause they're back on track the next night with me  
Dude, I just think they're trying to steal the light from me  
Yesterday 'Twan tried to pull a knife on me  
'Cause I told him Princess Sally's my wife-to-be  
This freedom shit, it's the life for me  
And all the other guys just despise me because…

Sonic: Chorus

These chicks don't even know the name of my team  
But they're all on me and they wanting to scream  
Cuz I know that I will be part of their dreams  
All because I'm the lead member of my team…

Sonic:

My team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my teeeaaaammm, yeah baby…

Antoine: Give me zee mic!

Sonic: Okay!

Antoine: Verse

You just wanna see a homie backwards, don't ya?  
Hey man how come we don't smack down robos?  
Smash these Combots like a performance  
But he's got the fans and we got the bubkiss  
You don't want my autograph you's a liar  
And no I'm 'Twan (oh, I thought that you were Rotor)  
What the hell is wrong with our meeting room  
'Cause our shit is looking smaller than a mush-a-room  
See, I know how to rap it's simple but  
All I did was read a Nack the Weasel book  
So I'm more intact trying to get on the map  
Doing jumping jacks while getting kicked in my ass

Bunnie & (Rotor): Verse

Look as Son's punk ass thinking he the shit  
(Yea, I know man, find himself taking on a chick)  
Hey, I thought we had a meeting with Sally-girl  
Sonic: No, _I_ had a meeting, not all y'all  
You gonna be late for roll call  
(Man I ain't going to roll call)  
And our map's screwed up  
(And his the best of all)  
(You know what, Bun? I'ma say something)  
(Hey yo, Sonic!)  
Sonic: You got something to say?  
(Man, nothing)  
I thought you were 'bout to tell him off, hon. What's up?  
(Man, I'll tell him when I feel like it, Bun. Shut up!)  
(And you ain't even back me up when we supposed to be a crew)  
Hon, I was about to talk right after you…  
(Aww, man, whatever!)  
I swear, I swear, hon!

Sonic: Chorus

These chicks don't even know the name of my team  
But they're all on me and they wanting to scream  
Cuz I know that I will be part of their dreams  
All because I'm the lead member of my team…

Tails: Verse

They say the lead members rock but the team does not  
Went from being a little whiner to making it drop  
I'm gonna let the world know that Tails is hot  
I should cut his ass off when his music starts  
Sonic: Hey yo, it's…Oooff!  
Ready to snap on some dumbass G  
Every time I hear "Hey, dude, I love your team!"  
We ain't a team, bitch we got no story  
So why do we get bloody and he gets the glory  
And his ass acting funny every mission we're on  
Sonic: Tails, help me out here  
Carry your own ass home  
Can't make it for roll call security's in the hall  
(Who the fuck are you? Where's Sonic and Sal?)

Knuckles: Verse

Goddammit I'm sick of this team  
So much crap makes me wanna scream  
Working with assholes, getting stabbed in the back  
Jesus Christ, I must be smoking some crack  
Taking on Robotnik? Man, I was in the back  
Fighting Mammoth Mogul? Man, I was in the back  
For the media, I've got a suggestion  
Fuck Sonic! Ask me some questions  
Like, "Who's Big Knux? How'd I get started?"  
(But what about cute Sonic?)  
Bitch, are you retarded?  
Anyway, I'm the popularist guy in the group  
Big ass knuckles, bitches think I'm cute  
Sonic told me shut up to be tough  
Punched his ass twice and he didn't get up  
Fuck Knothole! I'm outta this place  
I'm heading back home where I can save some face

Sonic:

Sal why can't you see that  
You're the only one for me  
And it just tears my ass apart  
To know that you don't know my name…

Knuckles: Man, Fuck you! (BOOM!)

Knuckles: Chorus

These chicks don't even know the name of my team (That's right)  
But they're all on me and they wanting to scream (Fuck Sonic)  
Cuz I know that I will be part of their dreams (Hell yeah!)  
All because I'm the lead member of… (Laughing)

Sonic:

My team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my team, my teeeaaaammm…

Knuckles: The Hardest Freedom Fighters in the World! Knothole, bitch!

Sonic:

I'm the lead member of my team  
I like to make all the girlies scream  
I'm the lead member of my team  
My ice cream makes all the pretty girls want to eat my ice cream  
Whoaohh, look out for my next single  
It's called 'My Ice Cream'  
My ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream  
My ice cream makes all the pretty girls dance  
And I really love to hear them scream  
My ice cream makes all the pretty girls dance  
And I really love to hear them scream  
My ice cream

Sonic: Hey, where'd everybody go?


End file.
